Oran Juice Jones
10-25-2008, 03:57 PM
For one fighter to call out another fighter, in the hope of engaging in combat, careful attention must be paid to the logorythmic aspect of this fine art. This situation calls for tact, discipline and a good standing relation with the english language and a strong love affair with history bordering on sick; points, possibilities, will always be deducted for those who engage in hysterics. Never deduce the event to sounding like a drunk trying to convince a cop that the guy under his truck, whom he just ranover and now lies between several streets and avenues, was actually trying to walk under his vehicle.
Calling out another fighter must be done with all the subtlely and patience one would find in some bomb squad guy trying to disarm a bomb with a toothpick and a piece of gum. No need to shadow box with a thesaurus or dictionary, just let the words fly out of your mouth like a speeding bat out of hell.
Time honoured call out lines and methods: Fighter types. With great acknowledgement to the work done by psychologist C.G Jung and his archetype (prototype, original pattern, etc.) personalities.
Latino descend: always verbally attack his mother. A line such as: "Since i've already knocked-out your MOTHER I thought you might be next muchacho!" This will not only guarantee you a fight but it will also start a long family feud that will last for decades. A sure way to score a direct hit is to mention how "The Man" has kept them down.
United Kingdom descend: calling someone a "pirate" while insulting the Queen and fish and chips will have great success. You will rise the anger in the genes of the most gentlemen of gentlemen turning that pacifist into an instant Mike Tyson with all the strength of baboon world at his command. Referring to William Shakespeare as just another sitcom writer will also cause major adrenal activity and turn your opponent into an instant Horatio Nelson.
Central European descend: Reminding this fighter that his family and ancestors are nothing more than sh!t disturbers as an awesome way to start any day. To accuse them of starting WWI and WWII will cause this fighter's deepest hatred for anything weak to acknowledge and accept you challenge. To remind them that wars have always found a home inside their borders will put thoughts of "world domination" in his melon. Not to be attempted if you're French descend; got that Georges St. Pierre!
Nordic descend: A sure way to anger the deep psychological, and genetic, damaged done by all their Kings is to remind them of their past. To scream at them that they have always been ruled by madmen will hurt them so bad that they will fight you to the very end. The crazy gene will be activated and you will never ever again listen to another Abba song with all the joy and tranquility that you once enjoyed.
African descend: cruelly mention the horrible year of 1444. This will not only guarantee you a fight but also, perhaps, give you that much wanted State funeral you and your dog have always dreamed about. Not to be used if you're of Portuguese, Dutch, English or French descend. Just stick to that awful date and everything else will take care of itself.
Arab descend: I think a good philosophical and religious discussion would make for a fine relaxing day. You can always tell that fighter that you can trace your family to the fifth Crusader from 1095 on. Mentioning that Pope Urban II was a hip dude and a misunderstood warrior-prince will cause that fighter to want to fight you and scatter whatever is left on your front lawn.
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...next, how to effectively call out KOTC Canada fighters.
Calling out another fighter must be done with all the subtlely and patience one would find in some bomb squad guy trying to disarm a bomb with a toothpick and a piece of gum. No need to shadow box with a thesaurus or dictionary, just let the words fly out of your mouth like a speeding bat out of hell.
Time honoured call out lines and methods: Fighter types. With great acknowledgement to the work done by psychologist C.G Jung and his archetype (prototype, original pattern, etc.) personalities.
Latino descend: always verbally attack his mother. A line such as: "Since i've already knocked-out your MOTHER I thought you might be next muchacho!" This will not only guarantee you a fight but it will also start a long family feud that will last for decades. A sure way to score a direct hit is to mention how "The Man" has kept them down.
United Kingdom descend: calling someone a "pirate" while insulting the Queen and fish and chips will have great success. You will rise the anger in the genes of the most gentlemen of gentlemen turning that pacifist into an instant Mike Tyson with all the strength of baboon world at his command. Referring to William Shakespeare as just another sitcom writer will also cause major adrenal activity and turn your opponent into an instant Horatio Nelson.
Central European descend: Reminding this fighter that his family and ancestors are nothing more than sh!t disturbers as an awesome way to start any day. To accuse them of starting WWI and WWII will cause this fighter's deepest hatred for anything weak to acknowledge and accept you challenge. To remind them that wars have always found a home inside their borders will put thoughts of "world domination" in his melon. Not to be attempted if you're French descend; got that Georges St. Pierre!
Nordic descend: A sure way to anger the deep psychological, and genetic, damaged done by all their Kings is to remind them of their past. To scream at them that they have always been ruled by madmen will hurt them so bad that they will fight you to the very end. The crazy gene will be activated and you will never ever again listen to another Abba song with all the joy and tranquility that you once enjoyed.
African descend: cruelly mention the horrible year of 1444. This will not only guarantee you a fight but also, perhaps, give you that much wanted State funeral you and your dog have always dreamed about. Not to be used if you're of Portuguese, Dutch, English or French descend. Just stick to that awful date and everything else will take care of itself.
Arab descend: I think a good philosophical and religious discussion would make for a fine relaxing day. You can always tell that fighter that you can trace your family to the fifth Crusader from 1095 on. Mentioning that Pope Urban II was a hip dude and a misunderstood warrior-prince will cause that fighter to want to fight you and scatter whatever is left on your front lawn.
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...next, how to effectively call out KOTC Canada fighters.